Competition, Baby!

My eleven-year-old has suddenly become my worst competitor. Gone are the days where he was content to sit on my lap, to give me as many hugs as I wanted, to snuggle close to me as I read stories to him. The testosterone must be kicking in at a wild pace as this little boy now has the need to turn even the simplest of things into a fierce competition. And since his brothers aren't home, I'm the one always found on the opposing side.

It started out innocently enough a few weeks ago.

I sat at the kitchen table going through some paperwork while he sat next to me supposedly doing some schoolwork I had assigned to him. My thoughts were interrupted with cries of, "Mom, mom, can you make this face?" "How about now?" "Can you make this face?"

I halfheartedly make the faces he wants me to make with the sole purpose of quieting him. No, I could never be that lucky. "Mom, can you make this sound? "What about this sound?" "Can you make it now?" OK, I try, but I definitely draw the line at making squeaky door noises (I make a mental note to find the WD-40 to fix that...)

Fast forward to the afternoon.... reading time... "Mom, mom, can you get your voice this high?" "I bet you can't get this high, can you?" "How about now? Can you get your voice this high now?"

Sigh, I need to get out of the house. We head for dinner at Friendly's. Surely he'll be too busy eating to fool around with this crazy nonsense. "Mom, can you eat this fast?" "How about this fast?" I think I'm going to be sick now as I try to beat this kid at his own game. I win this one simply because he talks too much.

"Mom, I bet you can't move your tongue this fast!" "See? Can you do that?" "Can you move your tongue THIS fast?" I remind myself that I am out in public. I will not stick out my tongue and wave it all around my face in a crowded restaurant no matter how tempting. I lose.

These sort of competitions have become a daily event. By now I have endured all sorts of variations too numerous to mention.

Today's came at lunch time as he was standing at the kitchen counter making a sandwich while running in place. "Mom, mom, can you run this fast?" "How about this fast?" I don't even bother to answer at this point. This is getting really old. (And I feel really old watching how fast he can move those legs.) I get up from the table and walk away.

I've watched news reports of child abuse and have always thought, "How could they??"

But.....

There are definitely some moments in a mom's life where that little glimmer of understanding dawns...

Hence, why I walked away today. He is blissfully unaware of how close he came.