Competition, Baby!

My eleven-year-old has suddenly become my worst competitor. Gone are the days where he was content to sit on my lap, to give me as many hugs as I wanted, to snuggle close to me as I read stories to him. The testosterone must be kicking in at a wild pace as this little boy now has the need to turn even the simplest of things into a fierce competition. And since his brothers aren't home, I'm the one always found on the opposing side.

It started out innocently enough a few weeks ago.

I sat at the kitchen table going through some paperwork while he sat next to me supposedly doing some schoolwork I had assigned to him. My thoughts were interrupted with cries of, "Mom, mom, can you make this face?" "How about now?" "Can you make this face?"

I halfheartedly make the faces he wants me to make with the sole purpose of quieting him. No, I could never be that lucky. "Mom, can you make this sound? "What about this sound?" "Can you make it now?" OK, I try, but I definitely draw the line at making squeaky door noises (I make a mental note to find the WD-40 to fix that...)

Fast forward to the afternoon.... reading time... "Mom, mom, can you get your voice this high?" "I bet you can't get this high, can you?" "How about now? Can you get your voice this high now?"

Sigh, I need to get out of the house. We head for dinner at Friendly's. Surely he'll be too busy eating to fool around with this crazy nonsense. "Mom, can you eat this fast?" "How about this fast?" I think I'm going to be sick now as I try to beat this kid at his own game. I win this one simply because he talks too much.

"Mom, I bet you can't move your tongue this fast!" "See? Can you do that?" "Can you move your tongue THIS fast?" I remind myself that I am out in public. I will not stick out my tongue and wave it all around my face in a crowded restaurant no matter how tempting. I lose.

These sort of competitions have become a daily event. By now I have endured all sorts of variations too numerous to mention.

Today's came at lunch time as he was standing at the kitchen counter making a sandwich while running in place. "Mom, mom, can you run this fast?" "How about this fast?" I don't even bother to answer at this point. This is getting really old. (And I feel really old watching how fast he can move those legs.) I get up from the table and walk away.

I've watched news reports of child abuse and have always thought, "How could they??"

But.....

There are definitely some moments in a mom's life where that little glimmer of understanding dawns...

Hence, why I walked away today. He is blissfully unaware of how close he came.

Expanded Vocabulary!

I just received a text message from my son, Austin. A one word answer. Typical of this particular son.

Except...

The one word text message was the word "awesome!"

Hello?? Is this MY son? I scratch my head trying to recall if he has ever said that word before in his eighteen years of life. No, I don't think he has. "I'm bored?" Yes! "I don't know?" Oh yes! "That's stupid?" A thousand times yes!! But awesome???

Just what are they doing to my son out there in Wisconsin?

And you want to know what's even more awesome than the fact that my son has expanded his vocabulary within ten days of being away at college?

The fact that this one word answer was in reply to MY text message to him, which read simply, "How's it going out there?"

I was smiling from ear to ear as I flipped my phone shut. He's doing awesome! Great news! A weight was lifted from shoulders.

But wait! Oh no.....

Does this mean he doesn't miss me anymore?

Or perhaps..... perhaps..... perhaps.....

He has met...... a girl???

Most likely it's because my son is growing and maturing in ways he never could while at home, learning to be independent and make his own mark on the world, and making the absolute best of where God has sovereignly placed him for the time being.

Awesome!

Conversing with a Male Teen

I found an old blog of mine and began re-reading the few entries I had written a couple of years back. I still remember this particular "moment" one morning before school... how incredibly frustrated I was with Austin at the time. Now that he's a thousand miles away and outside of the "I'm going to smack you" zone, I can look back and be amused at the typical conversations like this one he and I used to have all the time. Austin severly lacks any sort of communication skills except for grunts in reply to any question that I ask that I'm left to interpret soley on my own... or if I'm lucky enough to get a few words of English out of him, it's most likely going to be comprised of "i dunno know" or "that's stupid!"

Just this morning as my 16 yo was heading out the door for school, the conversation went something like this....

Austin: "Oh, you and Dad have been invited to the Junior/Senior Banquet. I need to let them know if you're coming."
Mom: "OK, when is it?"
Austin: "I dunno know"
Mom: "Well, find out and let me know, okay?"
Austin: "I kinda need to let them know today"
Mom: "For crying out loud, how can I know if we can go when I don't even know when it is?"
Austin: "I dunno know"

{{Long pause while we just stare at each other}}

Mom: "All right, fine, say we're coming"
Austin: "Ok good! What will you be eating?"
Mom: "Well, what are the choices?"
Austin: "Ummm... roast beef?"
Mom: "And ??"
Austin: "I dunno know"
Mom: "And when do you need to know this?"
Austin: "Today........ "
Austin: "Well, actually last week...."
Mom: "I can't decide what I want to eat unless I know the choices"
Austin: "Mom, can you just make it easy on me and pick roast beef?"
Mom: "FINE, Austin! Just put us down for roast beef then!"

My husband looks at me at this point and says, "Yup, he's his mother's son all right..."

Now what in the world does THAT mean ??

Driving Lessons

My middle son now has his license, and let me tell you, the experience is a whole lot different than when Austin got his license!

I should have known something was up when it took us SIX trips to the Registry in order to get that license. Do you think Someone was perhaps trying to pass along a message?

Trip #1 - 30 min. trip to the Registry only to find out the birth certificate we had on file was not an "original." This cost us a trip down to Massachusetts which was a little over an hour in the other direction.

Trip #2 - 80 min. trip back to the Registry (from Mass.) with the original birth certificate in hand. Driving tests for the day are now over. Grrrr! 30 min. trip back home.

Trip #3 - 30 min. trip to the Registry only to find out you now need to make an appointment for the driving test since they are down to one instructor. Made the appointment and drove another half hour back home. When we arrived home, I looked at the calendar - that date is not going to work - Jordan will be in NY at the time. Called the Registry to reschedule. All appointments must be done in person! Grrrr.... "But this is NOT an appointment. I already HAVE an appointmnent. I just need to reschedule it." Nope. She was insistent. IN PERSON!

I should have just quit at this point, but the thought of driving him to school at 7 a.m. in below freezing weather spurred me on...

Trip #4 - 30 min. trip back to the Registry just to reschedule the stupid appointment! Soooo not happy at this point. 30 min. drive back home...

Trip #5 - Appointment day! Yay! 30 min. trip back up... yada yada... Oh no.... he failed the driving test! Fortunately, I remembered to make another appointment before leaving the stinking building! VERY MISERABLE 30 min. trip back home.

Trip #6 - 30 min. trip BACK to the Registry. "Pass or I kill you" were my parting words as the examiner took my spot in the passenger seat.

A license!! YAY! Or so I thought...

I may not be driving him around, but I spend an awful lot of time now on the phone with him. In the first 10 minutes of "alone" driving time, I received three separate phone calls! I have now received phone calls with the words...

"I need gas!!!"

"How do I turn off the radio?" (seriously... I got this question)

"Where's the highway?" (so not telling you, Jordan...)

"Um... how do I get to Walmart?.... Target?..... movie theatre?...... mall?....." (This question is my "favorite"... always seems to come about 10 minutes AFTER he has left the house. What the heck... how do you drive for 10 minutes before realizing you don't even know where you're going??)

"How do I get back home?" (OK... I strongly fight off the urge to give him directions to somebody else's house at this point....might be kind of fun to see how long and how far I can get him to drive before realizing he's not even remotely close to being home.... perhaps a sign that reads "Virginia" might possibly clue him in....)

Every other day it seems, I hear these words from my wild, carefree, and rather reckless son upon arriving home.... "Wow, I almost got into an accident today!" Lalalalala... soooooo not listening!

I once thought the toddler years with Jordan were difficult, but at least back then, I was the "mommy" and I was in complete control. Now my hands are tied as I stand in the doorway and watch his car disappear down the street from view. I close the door, breathe a quick prayer of safety for him, and then try very very hard to forget that my son who has had more childhood accidents and near death experiences than I ever care to count is now behind the wheel of a car!

College is HARD!

I knew dropping my oldest son, Austin, off at college was going to be hard. After all, he picked a college 21 hours away from home! But goodness, I didn't think it would be *this* hard... and I certainly didn't count on all the other "hard" moments that are coming along with it.

I was perfectly fine with him leaving for college...even looking forward to having a clean kitchen for once... until that final week arrived. I found myself crying that last Sunday as I entered his bedroom to wake him for church service that one final time... crying again on Monday in one of the grocery store aisles of all places as I stocked the cart with cans of spaghetti-o's and tuna fish one final time... Holding back the tears and swallowing over a huge lump in my throat as I sat on his bed with him that last morning folding all of his clothes together and carefully placing them into his large suitcase. And then the tears threatened to spill over again on that last Wednesday evening at home as he hugged each of his brothers one last time (ok, so it was the ONLY time...) and then walked out the door of his home to make that long car trip out to the college campus.

Registration day was Friday. We planned on staying through the weekend to get him settled, and we would head home Sunday morning. That was our plan anyways. However, come Saturday morning, I had to make a very hard decision - leave a day earlier than planned. I observed that Austin was wanting to hang with us instead of bonding with his friends and roommates, so I knew it would be for the best if we made our exit early even though it was so hard to lose that extra day with him on campus. I will never forget the look on his face when we told him during breakfast on Saturday that we were leaving that morning instead of on Sunday as originally planned. Sigh, such a hard decision, but it was the right one.

Then last night.... an unexpected phone call from Austin. He NEVER calls home unless he wants something. "Oh please," I found myself silently pleading, " please don't ask to come home." He was feeling lonely, and he was bored sitting in his dorm room that Friday evening. Even though he is too proud to admit he's homesick, I could hear it in his voice. He needed a connection of some sort with home... with his family. He didn't really have much to say other than there was nothing going on Friday night and all day Saturday, and he didn't know what to do with his time. I encouraged him in my motherly way to ask around his dorm floor and find out what others were doing over the weekend.... to ask questions of those upperclassmen who knew the campus what there was to do for recreation... to come out of his shell... to reach out and make friends. And then I made that hard decision once again... to end the phone call and force him to solve the problem on his own.

Love is hard. A parent needs great strength at times. Watching and sometimes having to force your child to grow up is so very difficult. My heart is being tugged and squeezed with each hard step in this new phase of life. I find myself AMAZED at the strength of my own mother as I think back to the grief I must have caused her in my own college days. Calling collect and sobbing into the phone, begging and pleading for her to allow me to come back home. I eventually wore her down. About 3 months before my graduation, with a great sigh, she finally breathed the words I had longed to hear, "Alright, I will get you a plane ticket. You can come home." However, I took my very first step in maturity that evening. I decided on my own that I would not quit. I would see this through and stick it out for three more months, and I did. I am now proud of myself for making that decision. It was so HARD, but I am thankful I had it in me to see it through to the end, and I could hold my head up high with that diploma knowing I had perservered during hard times and didn't give up.

So when those dreaded words come from my own son's lips, "I want to come home," I can share my own life experience with him. And hopefully, it will help. Not only him, but me too... as once again, I need to learn that lesson of perserverance through hard college days. I'm just on the other end of it now.

As moms, we all have them. Those moments that make us so thankful and blessed to have such a wonderful child (sigh).... and then.... there are those "other" moments that make us wonder what in the world were we thinking when we chose to go off birth control...

I'm now finding myself approaching the final chapters of my life as a mom, having dropped off my first son at college this past week. I catch myself doing a lot of reminiscing lately, wishing I had journaled more so I could always remember those childhood"moments." Hence, the "brilliant" idea of now blogging these moments in time... albeit a little late. Although, if I had journaled the earlier years, it probably would have read something like this... "Austin is teething and was up all night... Austin has another ear infection and was up all night..... Austin is fussy and was up all night...." Then my second son, Jordan, came along.... "1:00 pm Jordan threw a major temper tantrum in the store.... 2:00 pm Jordan threw a major temper tantrum in the car.... 2:30 pm Jordan threw a major temper tantrum in his crib..." Hmmm, maybe it's not so bad that I didn't journal those earlier years. :)

For easy reference, may I present to you my three sons:

Austin - 18 years old and beginning his freshman year at college (21 hours away!) :( He's very much like his mom in appearance and personality - very quiet, reserved, intelligent, and responsible.

Jordan - 16 years old and is a junior in high school (oh my gosh! Is this true? Had to double check... yes, he's a junior! Time is FLYING by here!) Jordan is as opposite from his older brother as you can get in every way. He's full of life, has a great sense of humor, and thoroughly enjoys being around people.

I planned the two boys to be close in age so they would grow up being best friends. Plans don't always work the way you want. They were SO different that they never played together. Lego bricks were the #1 toy in our house while the boys were growing up - we have THOUSANDS of them. Austin would sit with the manual and build the Lego model precisely as the instructions stated, carefully following each and every step. When the model was built, playtime was over for him. Jordan, on the other hand, smashed the pieces together as fast as he could, the manual remaining in the box.... once he had something built, playtime would just be beginning for him!

Playing with Austin was fun - remember, he is just like me. I could sit on the floor and build models with instruction manuals for hours - absolutely loved it. But then... Jordan would come along... "play with me, Mom." Ah! I could only take so much of sitting on the floor with these absurd looking Lego people walking them around on the floor or zooming them through the air in strange vehicles that looked nothing like an airplane. At least if I could have made the Lego people have conversations with each other, it might have been endurable, but no... I had to make all sorts of engine noises...

Brandon - 11 years old and entering the 6th grade. He will be homeschooled this year once again. In fact, I need to finish up this blog to go over his English with him.... Brandon is still hard to figure out. He's a complete blend of both Austin and Jordan. Amazing to me. A very easy child to raise (so far) and adores his older brothers (even though he won't ever admit that). He LOVES to read (yay!) and I often find his light still on his bedroom at midnight or even later as he pours over his books.

Think that just about sums it all up! Bye for now!